A Spiritually Healthy Family
Text: Deuteronomy 6:1-12
Core Idea: If we want to cultivate a spiritually healthy family, we must be God-centred, Word-centred, and gospel-centred. This is the call given to all of us. Then let us intentionally invest our time and effort in the next generation so that they too will love the Lord who we love with all our heart, soul, and strength.
INTRODUCTION
Well, in light of infant baptism, I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to take a break from the book of James and think through what it means to cultivate a spiritually healthy family. But before I continue, let me address three groups of people in our community. First, the singles. As soon as I said that this message will be about family, I wonder if some of you were tempted to tune me out because you assumed that this would be irrelevant to you – but let me give you just two reasons why you shouldn’t. First, because this call to raise our children in the Lord is not just to the parents but to the whole community of God which includes you. The book of Deuteronomy (which is where our passage comes from) was written to the new generation of Israelites that were preparing to enter the Promised Land. Now, the text we’ll look at closely includes Moses’ instruction on what it means to cultivate a family that pleases God. But what you don’t see is Moses saying something like this: “Singles, because I’m going to talk about the families, you can tune out, grab some coffee, and rejoin us again when I finish.” No, he speaks to all of them because he knows that raising the next generation to know God was to be the responsibility of the entire congregation. Then whether you have children or not, you are called by God to partner with the parents in passing on the baton of the gospel to the next generation. Second, because it will help you disciple better. It’s true that Moses offers this teaching in the context of family. But you’ll quickly realize that the truths you’ll learn here are applicable to discipleship in general – which means that if you want to grow as a disciple-maker, this passage is for you. So, singles, don’t tune out – listen to what God has in store for you.
Second, the children and the youths. This passage is also for you because cultivating a spiritually healthy family is not possible without your involvement. Even if your parents tried their best to apply these lessons in your homes, if you’re not willing to follow their lead, this can never be done – it will always be incomplete. So, as you listen, think about how you can make your home more God-centred. But more importantly, do take this opportunity to reflect on your own relationship with God. Ask yourself questions like, “Do I believe that God is real? If so, do I love God? If not, how can I know and love Him better? What does it mean to be a follower of Jesus Christ?” And if you need someone who can help you process all these things, your parents will be more than happy to help you navigate through this but also know that there are many brothers and sisters here in this community who will gladly make themselves available to journey with you. All this to say, children and youths, don’t tune out – listen to what God has in store for you.
Lastly, the parents. Let this passage remind you that your children have been entrusted to you by God for you to lead them to know and love the Lord. This means that what you do at home matters greatly for their spiritual development. Don’t get me wrong – as your pastor, I will do everything in my power to equip them to be faithful disciples of Jesus Christ. I will passionately share the gospel so that they too will learn to delight in the Lord. But no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to replace you. Your children need you to guide them with patience, grace, and love. So, parents, don’t tune out – listen to what God has in store for you. Then with this in mind, please open your Bibles to Deuteronomy 6:1-12. And I’m going to invite Elia and Eve to the front – and they will read the passage for us.
1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all His decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you – a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant – then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
Thank you, girls, for reading the passage for us. And children, I hope you enjoyed the video. Let me share three things we need to cultivate a spiritually healthy family:
· WE MUST BE GOD-CENTRED
· WE MUST BE WORD-CENTRED
· WE MUST BE GOSPEL-CENTRED
1) WE MUST BE GOD-CENTRED
Now, if we want to be God-centred, it would be important for us to know who this God is. Then let me ask the children, “What are some words you would use to describe God?” I’ll give you an example: “God is good.” That’s one way. What are some other adjectives that you could use to describe God? (Powerful, holy, wise, loving, gracious, etc.) As you can see, there are so many ways to describe God. But in the text today, this is what God wanted the Israelites to know about Him – verse 4, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.”
Now, if we want to understand the significance of this truth, I must point out that in ancient times, the dominant belief was that there were many gods. There was a god for each city, every natural realm (the sea, the mountain, the desert, the sky), and literally everything you could think of – there was a god for war, money, fertility, rain, and so on. But here was God – revealing Himself to be the one true God and how all other gods are no gods at all. In fact, in Isaiah 44:16-21, God exposes how foolish and nonsensical it is to believe in these so-called gods. He says, “[The carpenter] cut down cedars, or perhaps took a cypress or oak… Half of the wood he burns in the fire; over it he prepares his meal, he roasts his meat and eats his fill. He also warms himself and says, ‘Ah! I am warm; I see the fire.’ From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, ‘Save me! You are my god!’ They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand. No one stops to think, no one has the knowledge or understanding to say, ‘Half of it I used for fuel; I even baked bread over its coals, I roasted meat and I ate. Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left? Shall I bow down to a block of wood?’ Remember these things, Jacob… I have made you, you are my servant.” He’s basically saying, “It’s ridiculous how you can’t see that you created these gods. They’re your creation. And in your attempt to make a god to your liking, you have completely missed Me – the one true God who wasn’t created but who created you.” They wanted to define who God was, but God was telling them who He truly was.
This is relevant to us because we live in a world where every generation wants to redefine God in the way that they think is appropriate and meaningful. So, for example, if they think that a loving God wouldn’t send sinners to hell, then that must be true for them. If they think that all religions point to the same God, then that must be true for them. If they think that God will give them whatever they desire as long as they pray a lot, read a lot, serve a lot, give a lot, then that must be true for them. The point is that today, people believe that everyone has the right to construct a god that is perfect for them. Then in one sense, we too live in a culture that believes in many gods – which implies that through our text, God is also telling us, telling our world, “There’s only one true God – and that’s Me. You don’t get to redefine who I am. In fact, if you really want to know who I am, you need to listen to the way I reveal Myself to be. You don’t get to decide for Me who I ought to be – you can only discover who I am.”
Sadly, we live in a world where this kind of claim is seen as narrow, intolerant, and even offensive. They argue that it’s divisive, exclusive, and unloving for Christians to believe that there’s only one true God. But if God truly existed, it would be absurd to think that we get to define who He is – and make Him be something He’s not. Pastor Tim Keller explains it this way, “If somebody comes up to you and says, ‘I’m writing a book about you.’ So, you say, ‘Oh really? What’s in it?’ ‘Well, I would like to think of you as an astronaut, brilliant at math, but terrible at relationships.’ Confused, you respond, ‘Actually, I’m scared of heights, and I flunked math but I’m a really nice person if you get to know me. I have many friends.’ Now, how would you feel if that person said, ‘Well, it doesn’t matter what you think. I would like to think of you like this. Don’t be so narrow’? You would be furious. Why? Because there’s a reality about you that this person needs to honor. Others can’t just ignore the real you and redefine who you are – only you get to tell others who you are. Then in the same way, if we want to know who God is, we need to listen to Him – we need Him to reveal to us who He is.” In our text, what God wants us to know about Him is that He is one. There’s no one more powerful than Him – no one more righteous, merciful, gracious, loving than Him. And what’s amazing is that Moses describes this God as our God (v. 4). Brothers and sisters, don’t take this truth for granted. It’s a humble privilege for us to know that this amazing God is for us, and we are His.
Now, if we truly want to be God-centred, it’s not just knowing Him better – it’s also loving Him. Verse 5, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” When we discover who God is, we’re called to love Him with every fiber of our being. We don’t just love God on the weekends. We don’t just love God when it’s convenient and safe. We don’t just love God privately. No, it means that we love Him completely, intentionally, and sacrificially.
Then this is what it means to be God-centred – to know God as He reveals Himself to us and love Him with all our hearts, all our souls, and all our strengths. Now, the point of this passage is that we should make our homes to be God-centred. Then how do we help our children to know and love God better? In fact, how do you cause someone to delight in God? Let me just share one method: it’s by showing them your passion for God. During COVID, our family spent a lot of time singing karaoke through YouTube. And here’s something that not many of you know but I’m just going to come out and say it – I love BTS. I really like their music. So, naturally, I ended up singing a lot of their songs and dancing with Eli. Now, it started with humming but, after some time, I began to notice that Eli was singing their songs on his own. In fact, he shared that he likes them too. I didn’t force him – but as I expressed my love for them, Eli learned to love them too. What you love, parents, they will learn to love as well. If you delight in God, they’ll learn to do that too. If you consider God to be your greatest joy and life’s most valuable treasure, they’ll learn to view God that way too. But if you’re just using God to get something, they’ll see it through, and it’ll become easy for them to treat God that way too. To put it differently, you cannot give what you don’t have. Then let me ask you, “Do you love God with all your heart, soul, and strength? Are you consumed by Him? Is your life centred around Him? Do your children know that you delight in God? Do they see you seeking Him on a daily basis? Do they hear how you talk about Him? Do they see that there’s joy in the way you obey God and serve the body of Christ?” When your love for God is visible, your children will learn to love the Lord as well. This is how we lead our families to become God-centred.
2) WE MUST BE WORD-CENTRED
God reveals Himself through the Bible. Then it makes sense why we must saturate our lives and our homes with the Word of God. Then how do we do this? Let me point out two things from this passage. First, ordinariness. Verses 6-7, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Notice how this important task of teaching the children to know and love the Lord was given to ordinary people like you and me. It wasn’t reserved for Moses alone. It wasn’t given only to the leaders. No, the call was given to ordinary fathers and mothers. Not only that, notice how the way they were called to saturate their children with the Word was also incredibly ordinary. They weren’t called to build a school where their children can learn the Word. They weren’t called to create Bible studies for them to participate in. No, they were simply called to talk about the Word with their children in everyday moments of their lives – as they sit at home, go for a walk, wake up, and lie down at night. In other words, they were called to take the mundane, the dull, and the unglamorous moments of life and use them as an opportunity to bring out the truths of God – and that’s what we should do as well. As we make dinner together, as we eat together, as we do the dishes together, as we read together, as we play together, as we get ready for school, as we get ready for bed – all these ordinary moments of life can take on a sacred quality and be used as a way to care for the spiritual health of our children. Parents, this is so important because it means that you don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to do something fancy or big. You just need to be in their lives – sharing your story and listening to their stories; talking about what you learned in the Bible and listening to them share what they learned. Every Sunday, I ask Eli, “What did you learn at Sunday School?” And he literally has the same response every time: “I don’t know.” I’m like, “What do you mean? You were just there!” And he goes, “I forgot.” And sometimes that’s going to happen – but it’s okay. Keep asking. Let them know that you care about their spiritual journey.
But, of course, our ordinary moments of life don’t just become sacred on their own – which is why they must be complemented by intentionality. We have to actively look for ways to build up our children in the faith. Verses 8-9, “Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” To understand this better, let me explain what each image means. Hands represent your outer life – your behaviors, foreheads represent your inner life – what goes on in your mind, the doorframes of your house represent the most intimate and personal relationships of your life (marriage, parenting, etc.), and the gates represent the relationships that you have with others in the world – those at school, work, neighborhood, and other public places. Then if Moses is calling them to tie the Word on their hands, bind them on their foreheads, write them on their doorframes and gates, he’s basically saying that we must be intentional in applying the Word to every corner of our ordinary lives. Then, parents, I challenge you to actively invest in your children spiritually so that those ordinary moments can become sacred. Read the Word with them. Talk about it with them. Explain it to them. Ask questions about it so that they can reflect on it on their own. Memorize it with them. Sing the Word with them. Pray the Word with them. Show them how to obey the Word – because this is how we lead our families to become Word-centred.
3) WE MUST BE GOSPEL-CENTRED
Verses 10-12, “When the LORD your God brings you into the land He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you – a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant – then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” What’s going on here? What’s the message that God is trying to get across? Well, God is basically saying, “I’m about to give you riches that you have never earned. I’m about to give you blessings that you simply do not deserve. But when you become recipients of this undeserving grace, there’s a great spiritual danger that waits for you – it’s the danger of forgetting Me.” It’s true that when life is difficult and hard, there’s a temptation for us to become less dependent on God because we try to take control ourselves. But the same is true when we are satisfied with life as well. When life is good, there’s a danger for us to be too content, too comfortable that we become less dependent on God and forget that He is the One who gives and takes away.
Then how do we guard ourselves against forgetting God in the midst of our blessings? God doesn’t say, “Don’t be satisfied. Don’t be happy. Don’t enjoy the blessings I give you.” No, He says, “Don’t forget the story – the story of the exodus.” When the Israelites were enslaved in Egypt, God came to Moses and said, “I’m going to bring down My justice in Egypt. For one night, you’ll see a small preview of Judgment Day.” Now, what’s interesting is that He didn’t say, “When My justice comes down, it’ll come down only on the Egyptians. So, tell the Israelites that everything’s going to be fine.” No, He basically said, “When My justice comes down for one night, it doesn’t matter what race you belong to, it doesn’t matter how good you think you are, everybody will be subjected to My justice. But I will make a way for the Israelites to be delivered – you just need to do exactly as I say. In every home, you must slaughter a lamb and put its blood on the doorframes of your homes – because when the angel of death sees the blood, he will pass over you (hence, the name), and justice will not come against you.” Their only chance of surviving His judgment wasn’t found in their performance or their morality but in whether they took shelter under the blood of the lamb or not. In other words, when God’s justice came down on Egypt, it either fell on them or the lamb that acted as a substitute for them. They weren’t saved on the basis of their work but only on the basis of their faith in substitutionary sacrifice. And this was the story that God wanted them to remember – that when they were helpless, God rescued them. It was when they were hopeless and desperate that God parted the Red Sea, fed them with manna from heaven and water from the rock, and guided them with the pillar of cloud and the pillar of fire – not because they were righteous, not because they were mighty, not because they were powerful, but because God was unimaginably gracious. So, God was saying, “Remember the story. Remember that My love came to you first before you ever obeyed a single commandment. Remember that the blood of the Passover lamb went on those doorframes first before you’ve ever had to carve a single commandment on your doorframes. Remember that out of sheer grace, you now have a city you did not build, good things that you didn’t earn, wells that you didn’t dig – and yet all these are yours to enjoy because of My love for you. But in the midst of these blessings, don’t forget that every good gift comes from Me – and centre your life around this story.”
Now, we could respond by saying, “Well, God didn’t rescue me from Egypt. So, that can’t be my story” – but it is. Thousands of years later, when Jesus appeared on the scene, John the Baptist said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (Jn. 1:29). In other words, if the lamb slaughtered on the night of Passover delivered the Israelites from the slavery of Egypt, this Lamb was slaughtered to deliver the world from the slavery of sin – and if you would place your trust in Him and put His blood on the doorframes of your heart, you will be written into this story as well and be saved. God is asking us to centre our lives around this story.
Then here are some benefits we can experience when our homes become gospel-centred. First, as recipients of this amazing grace, we will now display grace to our children. Just as God loved you unconditionally, you will learn to replicate that love for your children. You’ll learn to be patient with them – to be slow to speak but be quick to forgive, embrace, and encourage. But second, knowing that salvation comes from the Lord, we will now be moved to pray for our children. Friends, let’s pray for the salvation of our children and youths. Let’s ask Him to open their hearts. Let’s pray with them and for them because this is how we love them.
CONCLUSION
Lighthouse family, if we want to cultivate a spiritually healthy family, we must be God-centred, Word-centred, and gospel-centred. Remember that this is the call given to all of us. Then let us intentionally invest our time and effort in the next generation so that they too will love the Lord who we love with all our heart, soul, and strength.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1) How can we help our children to love the Lord with all their hearts, all their souls, and all their strengths?
2) How can you practically saturate your homes with the Word of God?
3) What does it mean to display grace in your household?